I play a card game called Magic The Gathering. The best way to explain it to someone who doesn’t know it is that you have a hand of cards (card types vary from land to spells to creatures) and you use the land cards as currency to cast your creatures and spells. There are different formats but the format I play in is one one one.
I went to a tournament today with my boyfriend. I was one of two women in attendance. When pairings were announced I remained in my seat and asked if my opponent was willing to move to the seat across from me. This was for two reasons: I always try to stay next to my boyfriend in case someone says or does something triggering, and because I already had my things set up, while my opponent did not.
He refused to move, and I asked him politely to reconsider, citing the fact that all my stuff was set up. He proceeded to take all of his things out of his bag, set them up in front of him and claim he was set up too. At this point I could have just sucked it up and moved, but spaces zoned as “nerd spaces” tend to have a higher rate of people using triggering statements in my opinion, so I wanted to stay next to my boyfriend.
His next move was to roll a die in front of me and say we would just roll to see who moved. He rolled a 1 (the lowest possibility) and mumbled something under his breath. He proceeded to pick up the padded chair he was sitting in and move it across the table… one seat over from the seat across from me. He sat down, and I said “So I still have to move too? Why are we both moving now?”
This is when the real issue happened. He stompily moved the chair to the seat across from me and said “well if you’re gonna be a cunt about it!” At this point, he was attacking me for being a woman. He wouldn’t have said the same thing to a man.
((A whole discussion can be had about how the worst word you can call someone shouldn’t be a reference to the vagina, but for now I’m just operating under the fact that he called me a word that he knew to be socially constructed as the worst thing he could say to a woman.))
I loudly reacted with an “EXCUSE ME!??” and everyone’s attention was immediately on us. The next part is a bit blurry in memory because I was LIVID. He told me to calm down, and I told him I would not. At this point the store owner came over, and I said “He just called me a cunt…” and explained everything that had happened. I was shaking.
The owner said something to the effect of “I’ve never had to deal with something like this… I don’t really know how to handle it.” Normal me would have told him that I thought it would be proper to give me the win (which to be honest I didn’t give a fuck about) and eject him from the tournament. For some reason I was unable to say a word, I was just shocked and shaking and silent.
This was the point at which my opponent offered me his deck to cut (a norm in the game, to ensure decks can’t be stacked) which signaled we would in fact be playing. Again, I wish I had just ended it there and refused to play him, but at this point I was beginning to doubt myself. No one had really backed me, and even the other woman who was sitting to his left had offered no support, blatantly ignoring the confrontation going on right beside her.
We cut each others decks and began to play. I have been playing the same deck for a few months now, and I know how to play it. I know the strategy my deck requires, but I couldn’t even think straight. My hands were still visibly shaking, and I continually misplayed. All the while, the store owner sat next to us and watched the game.
At one point the owner spoke up and said “I want to apologize to BOTH ((fucking both?! are you serious??)) of you for not knowing how to handle the situation.”
The guy I was playing assured the owner it was ok. I sat silently seething at just how ok it was not. Finally, about 20 minutes into our game, the owner spoke up again, and said “I’m sorry this has taken me so long, but I needed to think it through in my head. Heather is clearly shaking, she can’t play like this. I think the only think I can do is disqualify you from this tournament.” He then proceeded to offer the guy a refund on his entry fee.
The guy said that he was sorry and that he thought that was fine….. But then looked at me and asked if we could finish the game that he was clearly winning. I collected my cards and said “No, at this point I can’t even think straight, I’m so offended.” He said fine again, and asked to look at my deck because he was curious what cards I was running. At that point my boyfriend stepped in and said that I clearly didn’t want to continue the interaction and that he should back off.
The guy stopped talking to me, but continued to sit across from me for the next 30 minutes, until the round was over. I didn’t want to move because I wanted to stay close to my boyfriend, in the hopes it would offer some comfort.
When the guy finally walked away, the other girl finally addressed the issue. She said she thought what he said was wrong, but that I overreacted. At that point I said goodbye to my boyfriend, dropped out of the tournament and left.
The fact that this even happened is incredibly upsetting to me, but not at all surprising. Gamer and geek culture is not at all a safe space for women, and I wish there was more I could do to change that. I plan on talking to the store owners another time when I am able to calm down about the whole thing, but I almost feel like playing there has been ruined for me because of the lack of support I received and the fact that this player is a regular.
We found an abandoned kitten a few months ago, who had been left on the side of the road. The vet said that she was so malnourished that it likely affected her growth, and that she probably would never grow to be much larger than a kitten. She grew a little, but stopped quickly, and only made small squeaking sounds for the 7-8 months we have had her…. That is until 2 days ago when she started wailing like a banshee. It was a weird guttural meow with a growl layered underneath, and to be honest it sounded like she was summoning something from Hell. After being freaked out and worrying about her….. A quick google search alerted me to the fact that she’s probably just in heat… Quick, grab the “my body, my self” book :P
A proudly gay man gets offended when a coworker raises some complaints with his behavior around the office.
Sometimes things aren’t the way we think they are.
how did I see that coming
also this is how I imagine tumblr in cubicles, at least the parts where some people are overly sexual about everything and assume when someone doesn’t like their stuff their homophobic, or transfobic or any other phobic
still though it’s a great video
i fucking love this video
Holy shit key and peele why are you so amazing?
Their stuff is actually reeeeal smart.
ngl, first time I ever saw this video my first thought was of tumblr.
"I’m not persecuted, I’m just an asshole!"